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To go or not to go…that is the question! Yeah, yeah, I know that’s Shakespeare but his quote fits my dilemma. When you’re not on a schedule, it’s a jolt to suddenly have to be on one when planning a day out. I’ve always wanted to visit Bath and even though it’s only about an hour’s drive from where I grew up, for some reason my Dad and I never went. Perhaps I was one of those kids that wouldn’t have appreciated its many historical charms at such a young age.

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Groucho Marx once said “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read”. I love that and think it’s hilarious as you’d expect it to be, considering the source.

So what is it like inside of a dog? Um, I mean a dog’s mind. I sometimes think I know the words that swirl around in Honey’s brain when I talk to her or tell her to do something and, at other times, I feel like I totally don’t have a clue (no comments from the peanut gallery, please!).

“Hello”

“Honest, I didn’t do it”

“Seriously, now you take my picture?”

“Say what?”

“Eat your heart out, Elton”

“Open the door, please. I’ve had enough”

So, back to Honey. You see, she does this thing. This thing where she sits in front of us with her two pretty eyeballs fixated on whatever snack we happen to be munching on. Licking her lips, every strand of fur on her begins to literally shake with excitement at the thought of a mere morsel finding its way down to her level. And believe me, if it did, she’d be on it at a speed that would challenge Usain Bolt.

To stop her from begging, we firmly issue the command “Go sit in your bed”. We’re very strict dog-owners and she always obeys but this time…nothing, nada, zip. We say it again and clearly hear her mumble “Take a hike” as she turns her head away from us and firmly takes a stand (or rather a sit) in the name of all that is yummy and juicy. While she steals glances out of the corner of one eye – we know because we see her eyebrow fur moving – she is convinced that because we can’t see her face, we no longer think she is there.

Eventually the head swivels back towards us and the lip-licking, all-over-body-shake begins once again, this time with a little whimpering thrown in for good measure. Repeating the command “GO SIT IN YOUR BED” a tad more sternly results in the same turn of the head accompanied by that look of pure rebellion that says “You can’t make me”. We repeat the scene over and over again because, let’s face it, it’s simply too funny. Of course, it also puts us back a few lessons in the training manual…but hey, if you can’t have some fun with your dog, what’s the point of having one.

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Ahinahina (Silversword)

The road to the top of the world’s largest dormant volcano looms in front of us as we approach it from the northern side of Maui. On the fastest ascending road, we begin our trek up this majestic corniche going from sea level to 10,023 feet in just 38 miles and 90 minutes, all while navigating 33 switchbacks. There are numerous climate zones on this shield volcano; rain forest on the windward slopes (with annual rainfalls of 120-400”), dry forest on the leeward slopes and sub-alpine and alpine as you near the summit.

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Nestled between modern-day Coach and Cartier lies the Pink Palace of the Pacific. Through the Coconut Grove Garden (once the location of a royal summer palace) and up the steps brings us to the open concept tiled lanai of the Royal Hawaiian.

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Hanauma Bay

Our 7am breakfast buffet includes beans. Baked beans to be exact, the Heinz kind that I grew up with in England which means I absolutely have to indulge. Sausage, eggs and beans…mmmm, and all without a second thought for the tourists who will be on the coach with me today.

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Boarding the Submarine

From the lanai at 6am I watch the island and its people come alive: the woman waiting for the bus to work; the garbage truck with its working men (yes, even in almost-paradise someone has to pick up the trash). Malihinis (tourists) are already heading towards the ocean and even though Shay and Kas are still sleeping, it’s all I can do to stop myself from yelling “Wait for me!”

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Today I had my first Hot Yoga class. I’m not sure what I expected but it wasn’t actually as hot I thought it would be. I had visions of coals in the corner, sizzling and steaming when someone threw water on them. The instructor shows me how to lay out my mat. Well, not so much how but where (because I can lay my mat out all by myself, I’ll have you know!).