Mind The Gap   Leave a comment

There’s that darn woman again! The one with the same-level voice that constantly walks you through the complex minefield otherwise known as ‘train travel’.

‘Mind the Gap’, I believe, started on the London Underground many years ago, I guess because there was a veritable chasm between the platform and the train. Now, I’ve travelled on British Rail and the tube for many years and I managed to figure out (all by myself, I might add) that disappearing through that hole would probably be detrimental to my health. There is also the embarrassment factor because although I haven’t lived in London for 30 years, with my luck, even now, the person helping me out of the hole would inevitably be someone I know and the conversation would go something like this: “Jackie, is that you. Well, blooming ‘eck, it is! What are you doing ‘ere?” and I would reply: “Hello Carol, how jolly lovely to see you again. Let’s go an’ ‘ave a cuppa but first, would you mind giving me a hand up?”

I mean, seriously, who is going to fall into that gap? If you’re drunk at 9am, I can understand how it might happen, although I would also think that you deserved your glimpse down into the dark side.

As I victoriously navigate my way over the gap and onto the train, Miss Monotone pipes up (once again) and announces to all and sundry which station I’m at. Apparently the HUGE signs on either side of the tunnel wall are NOT a dead give-away. I envision Miss Monotone up in the control room just waiting for some poor, unsuspecting soul to set one foot onto the train only to hear (to his sheer terror) that he is, in fact, in the wrong station. A mental picture forces its way into my head and I realise it would probably be quite funny to see, especially when one butt cheek gets trapped in the doors that it’s so desperately trying to run from. Actually, come to think of it, it would be really funny (as long as it’s not my butt cheek). I guess the only thing the guy would have to be thankful for is that he avoided the abyss, because if he hadn’t, well, that would have just been too cruel a day for him.

Of course, the next announcement indicates which station we’ve reached but since Miss Monotone doesn’t instruct us to ‘Please Step Off The Train’, I am still on here and should see you all in about, oh, I don’t know, a few years? Cheerio!
CLICK HERE to view my London & UK photos…


Posted September 13, 2011 by Jaclyn in England, London, Travel

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